January, you're cool.

Two weeks into the new year and 2013 is treating me fabulously. 

A new spiritual guide that is seriously changing my life

A new job with an amazing mindset 

Fried chicken for the first time since going GF / GF menu at PF Changs

House hunting

 

A trip to the mountains which somewhere along the way became my favorite place to be, my energy instantly lifts and I feel a different sense of calm and clarity

A flan anniversary and tomorrow my first born turns 5

Keep it up, year.

2012.

Here are way too many of my favorite memories and photos from the year.

Secret things in new places with this dude.

Road trips & dog park dates with my boys.

Our fabulous wedding.

Atlanta to Asheville to Charlotte to home with Monique & Malakai // New York with the family.

Delaware with Monique // My beautiful girl.

Next generation of sister BFFS // The funnest people in DC.

Lady loves in Philly // Philly in the Summertime. 

In the mountains // My favorite sleepover.

Weekend in Durham with my lovelies.

Dominican Republic.

Autumn was amazing this year and the spot at the end of my street was my favorite.

Being a vampire // My (second) favorite family being reunited.

My favorite people from Austin coming to visit.

I enjoyed complaining about 2012 but it was actually full of really fucking great memories. I did so many things, went on so many road trips, spent SO much time with my sisters and babies and had so many awesome lady trips. 2012 was definitely the year of ladies and babies. Something tells me 2013 will be quite similar, with a little more emphasis on my own little family. :)

Thoughts.

whimsy picture for a whimsy post.

I have too many different ideas for how I want to live my life. I have done a really good job this year at not thinking, just living. I have (mostly) stopped obsessing over where to live, where to travel, what to do with myself, and stop with the expectations that I need to be far away in a cool city doing what I always thought I would be doing. 

Half of me loves stuff. I just love stuff, plain and simple. I want a house full of colors and patterns and kitsch. I'm sentimental and want to display tons of pictures and knickknacks from our traveling and adventures. I love shopping and picking out new things, whether they be for our home or for my wardrobe. I love trying a million different beauty products, I have at least twenty cleansers, moisturizers, and masks in my closet. I probably have two hundred eye shadows. I rarely even wear eye shadow.

The other half of me wants to be a minimalist. I want to have the basics - a nice couch, a comfy bed, crisp white walls with a ton of light coming through the windows in a small, simple house. I want to live in the middle of nature, with herbs growing in my kitchen and a garden in my backyard. Maybe a couple of chickens for fresh eggs. A little girl in rain boots and a swing hanging from a tree in the backyard. (This is the whimsy part. Bear with me.)

Half of me wants to live where I want to live, outside a city I love where I'm close enough to everything but far enough to not notice it if I don't want to. Half of me wants to stay where my sisters and babies are, because they are the most important things in my life, and what is a happy life without the most important things? Half of me wants to live my life on the road, figuring things out as we go along. Half of me wants to stay in one place for years and years and travel simply a few times a year. 

I'm not the most simple person. I get bored very easily. I'm always restless. But a part of me feels like I have created that for myself because I have so many expectations for life. But really, what are my expectations? I have an awesome husband, amazing sisters, a wonderful best friend and great friends all around the country. I have traveled to tons of states and countries. I have had times of stability. I have had times of quitting my job and going on a spontaneous month long road trip. I have had a bank account full of money and a bank account barely scraping by. I have had times of going out every night and drinking and doing drugs and I've had times of staying in for a month with netflix and ice cream. I have left everything behind and moved across the country. I've moved back.

I honestly can't think of anything in my life that I have desperately wanted to do that I haven't done (or plan on doing). Everything has changed this year, including me, and everything has been for the better. I'm striving to find a middle ground between two big parts of me. I'm working on long term plans rather than I'M BORED, LET'S THROW EVERYTHING TO THE WIND. I guess with a chart full of libra and gemini I'll always be striving for balance, but right now I feel satisfied, and in a way, settled for the first time.

Lately.

Lately my life is full. Full of faces I love, sisters and babies and closest friends. Full of reunions. Full of homemade dinners and desserts. Full of beautiful trees and leaves and weather. Full.

Bijou and I had a sleepover last weekend. We stayed up late, ate ice cream (twice), watched Jem and the Holograms, went to the park and played with one of my oldest, closest friends, Jason, and his girls. I thought it was going to be my temporary baby fever cure as it usually is (she is my heart, but babygirl is a handful) but it actually just made it feel like, wow, this is what it's all about. Walking around the town center holding both of our hands, swinging her in between us like my parents used to do to me. Waking up early to her poking her head in, a huge smile plastered across her face, crawling into bed with us and saying "Auntie Sarah, I'm SO happy I woke up here!" and making bacon, egg and cheese sandwiches together. 

This week my best friend moved home and I couldn't be more thrilled. We haven't lived in the same state in three years and it has been so refreshing to be together and talk about the stupid stuff we did when we were 16 and sing at the top of our lungs to our old favorite songs. Being apart for so long resulted in a lazy friendship of texting and emails, so to go back to seeing each other a few times a week is so much fun and I feel like we have been renewed. And when Chris, her boyfriend, is around, it just completes it. Him and I are basically the same person (Sorry, Alyssa) and we just talk talk talk talk talk. He gets me on everything, even spiritual stuff, which makes everything feel right and united.

Monique's boyfriend came home after being away the entire year and I feel like I'm going to burst with emotion because of it. We didn't expect him to be home until next summer, but a fabulous turn of luck/fate/whatever it may be, brought him home this week. I really didn't think it would effect me so much, but waking up and finding out I literally felt my heart swell. I'm just so so so so happy for him and my sister and Malakai and their beautiful little family. He's been around for years and years and I have always loved him so much, and I still can't get over seeing his face around the house and out with us. It's perfect.

<3

Dominican!

Dominican was AMAZING. We spent eight beautiful days playing in the sun, drinking fruity drinks in the pool, eating the most delicious fruit I've ever had, reading a million books, getting couple massages, PLAYING WITH A MONKEY, etc etc etc. The weather was perfect everyday and the resort was fantastic, everyday they would cover our room in fresh flowers and send bottles of wine at night. 

 View from our patio

See that farmers tan? Yeah... that's what we needed to work on. 

We did so many cool things, too. We went snorkeling (MY FAVORITE) and scuba diving (a little weird as far as the breathing/ear pressure went, but still cool), the water is so crisp and blue and there were millions of fish and they ate from my hand >:). We drove our own speed boats which was awesome because it reminded me of being a kid on Long Island and we would go out all the time on my grandpas boats and he would let me drive and just THAT FEELING, ugh, that feeling of being completely out in the open water where it's so damn peaceful and fun and the smell of the ocean and your face being splashed with water and hair turning to waves I JUST LOVE IT SO MUCH.

FISH TEA PARTY

We also went out on buggies through the countryside which was absolutely BEAUTIFUL but also awesomely gross because we were driving through huge mud puddles and getting smacked in the face with giant mud balls and we had to bathe in something like a river but not quite. 

Half way through and not nearly as dirty as we became. Chuckie had to throw his shirt and backpack away!

It was just great. It was my first time at an all inclusive resort and while it isn't my favorite type of vacation (I'll never give up my several-cities-in-one-trip traveling), it was exactly what we needed after this busy year. Resorts are like this weird alternate universe, the grounds are exquisite and people are doing everything for you and everywhere you turn there is a fruity drink and live music and buffets and fancy restaurants and the nicest people you'll ever meet, it was so strange but so cool. It came at the perfect time since Chuckie has been studying his ass off and having a week straight of uninterrupted ~love~ and fun time was exactly what we needed.